EMOTIONAL ENERGIES

EMOTIONAL ENERGIES

I first learned about this concept as a Grief Recovery Specialist® from the book “When Children Grieve” by John W James and Russell Freidman, coauthors/founders of The Grief Recovery Method®.

 

EMOTIONAL ENERGIES

 

It’s an activity meant to help adults help children whom are grieving, but I truly believe it can help a plethora of people - think mapping out emotional energies for your best friend who just lost her husband, so that you can be better prepared for her in her despair.

And as a parent and a previous middle school teacher, this activity is incredibly considerate to help a child.

Think of this work as a brainstorming technique or a mind-mapping session; little bitty triggers and/or thoughts that you COULD HAVE - all stemming from a specific loss.

I’m going to walk you through the example of the death of an auto-mechanic 44yo father by heart attack while mowing the lawn before dinner on a Sunday.

FYI: This was not our personal experience, I just made up this scenario as I’m writing this to show you all the EMOTIONAL ENERGIES that one might think of.

THE PROCESS:

1️⃣ Write the specific loss in the center of the page

(or at the top if you want to make a list instead of a mind-map).

2️⃣ Start brainstorming areas of life that the child/person might have a specific trigger to.

Specific trauma events (mowing, age, heart-attack, job, dinner, Sundays), holidays, school, friends, mom, home.

But also think specific things - if you know of them - from the past, present, or future that they might regret or wished that they’d get: (driving cars, graduation, weddings, having their own children, first dates).

3️⃣ Write thoughts or feelings or questions the child/person might have.

Especially when using this exercise for a child, you’d be surprised what might enter their sweet little minds. My children at the ages of 8 and 11 asked me over their dad’s body on life support:

“If Daddy dies, can we still be ‘Driskells’?”

“Yes, babies…”

Heck, the child’s friend - depending upon their ages and maturity - might freak out a little, too, because if Johnny’s dad died from a heart-attack while mowing the lawn, maybe MINE might!!!??!!??

Emotional Energies.

Here’s a picture of me mind-mapping this example for us. I hope it helps you as you do this exercise in your own grief experience.  And, I’m sorry that you have to.

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